Case Number: MP-2007-991606

WTF, 2007

I woke up this morning freezing.

It's that time of year.

I made a pot of coffee and jumped in the shower, all in an attempt to warm myself up. I dried my hair and sipped on said coffee, the chill of the morning had finally left my bones.

I quickly bundle up, step outside and briefly appreciate the chill in the air as I shuffled to my car to get to work. It's then that the cold reality of living where I live hits me, once again, square in the gut.


















$200.00, 2007

Only A-holes do this.

Items taken (courtesy of NetFlix):

1 DVD-Drugstore Cowboy

1 DVD-The Fountain

valued at: $40.00

I have one word for this A-hole: Karma.

Shots, Ships and Road Trips

Royal got out of his box the other day. Normally when this happens we have to throw things like shoes and mattresses away. This time he just got the garbage and we were already going to throw that away. So, no big loss.


















We spent the weekend downing shots in Fargo ND. We were attending a friend's wedding, it's always a wedding!

Here are some interesting things that we discovered about Fargo.

1.) You can smoke in the bars.
2.) Fargo hates breakfast.
3.) There is a viking ship in downtown Fargo. It is a replica, but so cool none the less!
4.) Rooter's Bar has $1.75 Long Island Iced Teas every Saturday. Whoa.


















Zach (He is the duder on the right.) came to the wedding with his 10 year old son, Jake and his preggers girlfriend, Aleesh. Our fully grown family man turned in with his brood around 11pm. We are so proud of him! You can't keep a good man down though! To make us even more proud, our good buddy Zach returned about an hour later, in his jammies, and had a final shot with Rippie and I.

Zach's choice, Wild Turkey. Here is what I learned about Wild Turkey. You WILL emphatically profess your love for your boyfriends friends after consuming this stuff. It has been tested and proven to be true. Myth busted!

A Bum Leg

Oliver, 2007

Say hello to Oliver.

Oliver lives with my Dad and Oliver is 125 lbs. or pure dog. He is currently a bit under the weather due to an operation to remove fluid from his hip.

Poor Dude.

Photograph-Nicole Olson

C'mon Down!

Right now, I have claimed my place in contestants row and I'm waiting. I'm waiting for the next item up for bid.

I hope it's something good.

I hope it is a flat screen t.v. or a pair of diamond earrings or a juke box. If my bid is the closest without going over, I win. I win a chance to go up on stage and try my hand at winning again.


















Drew Carey totally wants me to win. He wants everyone to win. He does. I have never seen a more sincere game show host. Ever. Alex and Pat got nothing on this dude. I don't think Bob himself even had it in him. I just don't.

Drew, get ready, cause I'm winning this. I'm taking it all home, Drew Carey.

Get ready!



















My heart is beating fast. It has sunk all the way into the acidy pit of my stomach and I can barely keep it together. I can barely keep it together but I can't stop smiling the biggest cheesiest smile. It makes my face hurt. But I am going to keep on smiling. Yea. I'm gonna.
I am going to win. My hands are sweating. My armpits are sweating. My temples are dripping with salty salty sweat. I feel nauseous and dizzy and I think I want to cry. I can't feel my feet and my skin is all tingly. It is tingly and hot and cold and hot again.


















I look into the crowd. I scan it quickly and recognize familiar faces. I knew they would be there. They always are there. They are good for that. Being there.

I want to scream and jump for joy. They are. They are screaming and jumping for joy. The familiar faces are screaming and jumping and shouting prices at me. They hold up their hands and they are twisting their fingers into number like shapes. They gesture with their hands to form some sort of sign language. Some sort of secret language. I know exactly what they are telling me. I know exactly what they are saying. They are telling me to bid. They are telling me to win. They are telling me to win big and smile and sweat and cry and jump and scream.

I will. Promise.

Research Report Part 2

Cat shows are weird. Cat show photos are even weirder.

F.Y.I.-I don't know who took these photographs. I did not take them.

Anaesthesia Awareness

?, 2006

Photograph-Nicole Olson

Name Twins

We all do it. Don't pretend you haven't. I know you Google your name. I know you do.

It's perfectly logical that there are others out there with our names. It is also perfectly logical to be curious about these people. Through the magic of the Internet we can find these folks and see what the different versions of us are up to.

I would like you to meet a few of my Name Twins. They seem alright.

Nicole Olson #1:










Nicole is a Realtor for Re/Max in the lovely state of Illinois. She is also a personal wine consultant, loving wife and Mother of two. She also is a web site developer. I found Nicole's website a few years ago. I check in every once in a while to see what she's been up to. She used to sell Tupperware.

Things we have in common: We both live in the Midwest. I like wine.

You can click on Nicole #1's picture for more information.

Nicole Olson #2:


















Finding Nicole Olson #2 was a bit unsettling. She's a great lady. Has a handsome husband and a beautiful baby. These things don't bother me, not one bit. In fact, I am glad that things are going so well for her. The unsettling thing is that her husbands name is Matthew. My brothers name is Matthew. It's just weird seeing my name and my brothers united in Holy matrimony.

Things we have in common: We both live in the Midwest. I too, am related to a dude named Matthew Olson. Blogging.

Click on Matt and Nicki's picture to find out all about them.

Nicole Olson #3:
I don't have a picture of Nicole Olson #3. I wish I did. That is a key part in getting to know your Name Twins. Maybe she will find my blog and feel compelled to send me a photo? (Yeah, right.) I like this Nicole the best.

Things we have in common: She is a photo stylist. Isn't that something else?

I wonder if we would like each other? You should check out her website.

http://nicoleolsonstyle.com/


Now, this is just a select sampleing of other Nicole Olsons. I know there are more. I just know it. Maybe someday I will organize some sort of convention where once a year all the Nicole Olsons will gather in one spot and do convention-like things. There will be workshops and presentations. There will be award ceremonies and happy hours. There will also be hotel and dinner discounts available with the use of a special discount code or password or something.

I may be onto something.

Research Report

I'm doing research. On dog show photography. It's weird. Pet pageantry, it's weird. In fact, it is so weird that I am into it. Yea.

Now, in my research I found something totally totally awesome.

If this is the only thing you do all day you will be completely satisfied, I promise. Scouts Honor.

Do not fear, it is not ishy. It is safe for work. It is pure brilliance.

Check it out: http://www.thewinningimage.com/twi/gallery.asp?flag=5

Photograph-Rob Gerity of RKG Photo

Concept Records + Jesse James = Genius

Jesse James' Childhood Home, Kearney, MO, 2006

I'm into Jesse James. I'm not sure you knew that about me? But I am.

It has to do with danger. It has to do with the freedom of takin' what ya' want, when ya' want it. It has to do with shootin' guns and taken' names. It has to do with dime store novels. It has to do with the Wild, Wild West/Midwest/Southwest. It has to do with building things from scratch. It has to do with struggle. It has to do with discovery. It has to do with six shooters and gamblin'. It has to do with saloons and swingin' doors and shots of whiskey. It has to do with tippin' your hat and sayin' "Ma'am".

I could go on and on.

Today, though, it has to do with this:




















(click on this image to find out some AWESOME things)

I can't wait to hear this!

Photograph-Nicole Olson
Album Art-Someone Awesome

48°13′59″N, 101°17′32″W

On The Drift Prairie: Coolies-Minot, ND, 2007

Photograph-Nicole Olson